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I haven’t had the inspiration to write lately. I am working things out in my life, and with holidays fast approaching, my life has been full of everyday stress.
I have learned a lot about myself, my husband encouraged me to seek out the help I need and now it is unfolding a road to healing. You see, I am what civilians consider a Dysfunctional Veteran. I never quite got over things and thus I have issues dealing with certain things. I was in denial for a while, I blamed it on my postpartum, sometimes acting like I didn’t have anything wrong.
I finally noticed I needed help when I was driving back from the gym, I stopped right in front of a shiny piece of trash. I freaked out! My brain processed the shiny object as an IED on the road. It took me a few minutes to realize I was back in the states and that it was just a piece of trash on the road.
I came home crying to my husband, he listened to my incident. He sat me down and asked me if I felt like I needed help, I quickly nodded. He told me he would accompany me to my first appointment and he would be there to help me.
It is still hard to talk about my issues, or why I have them. Sometimes I feel like it makes me a weak person. I am glad I have the support of a loving husband, but not many are lucky.
I wish this wasn’t part of who I am, but it is. Like many others, I can only hope to manage, but I won’t forget.